chapter three: "the patron saint of liars and fakes"

Petunia Elkwood was not used to this. Not at all. See, there were things she was very much used to that most people would not be used to. She was used to shooting ghosts with a gun, and then exorcising them. She was used to decapitating vampires, she was used to shooting werewolves with silver bullets and she was used to, put simply, a slew of things a lot of people were not.

However, when she was fired from work and left to wander the streets to make her way back home, she was not expecting to see Todd Allison get attacked. She was no expecting to see him knocked out and and then surrounded by a group of people and this was, she realized, something she wasn't used to.

The problem arose when she realized that these weren't people at all. It became very apparent the more she looked at them that these were something else -- the pale skin, the sunken eyes... It wasn't the average paleness, either. It was the distinct blue-white you would see on a corpse. Vampires.

Todd Allison was being kidnapped by vampires. But why? What was the point? It was about five of them and one of him, there was no way he'd be enough for all of them, and they weren't dragging him off to finish the job. In fact, they were discussing what to do with him.

"Is that really him? He's kind of scrawny..."

"I'd recognize him anywhere. He's definitely one of them. We just have to wait for Cyril, now."

"All right, but--"

'Oh God, oh God, oh God, what do I do, what do I do, I have to do something, he's going to get hurt, I have to do something--'

"Hold it."

Her arm was yanked and she was pulled into someone's chest, she turned to look, but just as she saw the man, only slightly more alive looking than the men who had surrounded Todd Allison, he put a pistol to her head and the sound of it cocking clicked in her head. "Don't move. I'd hate to shoot that pretty little face of your's."

That was another thing she wasn't used to. She had never actually a gun pressed to her head before, despite the whole Hunter thing. She complied out of sheer fear, but the man's dark eyes made her feel like he actually had no problem shooting her 'pretty little face'.

He didn't let go of her and he didn't move the gun from her head. Instead, they both feel quieter than the night itself and she realized, suddenly, that he was listening to the vampires' discussion. This man seemed to be aware of what was going on.

"Are you a H--" His hand covered her mouth and he pressed harder. He could have shot her, but he kept her quiet. There was no way he didn't know they were vampires, then. He had to be a Hunter, there was no doubt in Petunia's mind.

"Come on," he said, and then he pulled her arm, leading her with the gun still pressed to her head, and they walked away. He led her up, away from the scene, and Todd Allison was resigned to whatever fate he might have. The thought made Petunia incredibly angry, but she couldn't just very well go running off because she wasn't sure if he wouldn't shoot her, Hunter or no.

They ascended stairs, and the man made comments like, "It's not up to me whether or not I shoot you, sweetie, sorry," and he mentioned his boss and a few other things, but Petunia's mind was working so fast she barely had time to really contemplate it. When they came to a door, it seemed like she'd been walking with him for an hour.

"Knock knock," he announced as he opened the door, keeping a hand on Petunia's arm to keep her from running away. "I got a gift for you." With that, Petunia was pulled into the room.

There are things Petunia is used to -- certain sights, for example. Certain people had factored into her life so largely that she is so adjusted to their fact by now that it is difficult to see them in strange, out of character situations. This was one of those cases: She recognized that nose instantly, she knew that cowlick, and she knew that man next to him.

Meredith and Elijah.

She had seen them, of course, here in Melbourne before, but not like this. Not brought to them a stranger who had held a gun to her head. She hadn't seen them in a room like this, so business oriented and they both looked so shocked to see her -- she could feel her own face mixed up in shock, of course, but... Still... that her brothers were here and -- well were was here anyway?

"Eli...jah?" said Meredith, softly but still audible.

The confusion was bubbling up inside Petunia, a strange concoction of relief and anxiety and anger, and she opened her mouth to speak, but it came out more like a shout, "Elijah?!"

He answered by grabbing her hand and lead her out of the room, leaving a very confused Cyril and a very worried Meredith in their wake.

The night air was significantly colder up on the roof. She could see her breath, and it still smelled wet from the heavy rain last night. Elijah turned away from her, a hand to face, covering his mouth. "Elijah," she began, "I don't understand what's going on, but--"

But for some reason Elijah was wrapping his arms around her and shouting her name, "My sweet Petunia, bubblegum cotton candy chocolate honey pie whipped dessert Petunia! What are you doing out here so late, Sugarpuff?"

"Elijah, I--"

"Wait, don't tell me-- Did Cyril hurt you?! If he laid a hand on you, I swear, I'll fucking--"

"Elijah!!"

With her shout, he recoiled, letting her go. At the same time, Petunia stood tall and continued to shout. Her voice seemed to echo in the darkness of the night, coming back even louder and clearer. She knew it was her own voice, but something about sounded surreal.

"I don't understand what's going on! Todd Allison was taken away by vampires and that man kept me from going after them, so I don't know what he is and then he brought me to you and I swear if you put Todd Allison in danger... I... Well I'm not sure what I'll do but it won't be good at all! So tell me what you're doing here, so I can go save Todd Allison already!!"

Elijah, despite the fact he knew what she was talking about for the most part, just seemed more confused. Of course, he didn't know who exactly Todd Allison was, so perhaps that was the important part. "Calm down. I'm very sorry, Petunia, but this is a done deal, I can't--"

"You can and you will! If you hurt this person, I'll do something terrible! Of all people, Elijah, why Todd Allison!? He's helped me so much and we were finally going to help each other, just last night I went to help him with a spirit in his apartment! There were plants everywhere and it was such a mess and we were going to help each other and finally end all this and now you've gone and hurt him, Elijah, I'll never forgive you ever if he's hurt!!"

Elijah stood suddenly, and whispered to himself, his voice frantic as he seemingly sorted out what Petunia had just said.

As difficult as it was to sit through all of that, and truly, some of it did hurt, something about that rant stood out to Elijah. The gears in his mind seemed to working as he stood, and he whispered something to himself that Petunia didn't hear. His back was to her and so she couldn't see his expression, but if she could, she'd see the grin he wore.

She didn't understand quite what was happening, but she recognized that posture. It was the same as when he was excited about something, as though he was going to go bounding off in one leap to wherever adventure was.

"You are absolutely right, Petunia."

"I...I am?"

"You are. We cannot have Todd Allison dying just yet, can we?" He spun on the spot and kissed her forehead, whispering to her, "I am so lucky to have such a smart, gracious sister like you." Pulling her close, he patted her on the head, and then held her hand and lead her back into the room. "I'll fix it for you, don't you worry, Petunia."

They entered the room, as though nothing had changed, and Petunia wasn't at all convinced any of this could be fixed. Still, Elijah approached the man, Cyril, and he light up a cigarette.

"Change of plans. Job's cancelled."

"Wha....What?"

"What? You can do that, can't you? It's in your repertoire of skills?"

"That's not the point. The way you wanted the job done," Cyril gritted his teeth, "makes it damn near impossible to stop. It's already half-way done, you son of a--"

"Near impossible, so it's still possible. Just do it. Take Petunia with you."

"Wh--? What? Are you mental?"

"Take her with you. She's your new mistress," Elijah said, and as he spoke, smoke emerged from his mouth.

"What?!" seemed to come from every corner of the room, a testament to just how ludicrous the statement was. Elijah, however, didn't seem to see what the humor was in the situation.

"Keep her safe, and take her with you. Listen to everything she says."

There were many things that Petunia was used to. This, however, was not one of them.